10 Toddler Bed Tips: How to Make the Crib to Bed Transition
Transitioning from a crib to a toddler bed may seem like a minor change to us, but it can be a very uncomfortable change for a child. Toddlers crave limits–even if they seemingly test ALL the limits, ALL the time–and the lack of physical boundaries in an open bed can cause emotional discomfort, because the inherent limits of the crib have dissolved. There are no more crib slats as a boundary between the little self and big world, and this newfound freedom can cause anxiety.
The crib kept your child feeling safe and contained. Without that containment, bedtime resistance and night wakings are likely, due to either searching for the limit or searching for relief from the discomfort (aka you).
But, with a mindful and loving approach, the transition to a toddler or twin bed won’t be so disruptive or anxiety-inducing for your little explorer. You may still experience a bumpy patch for a few weeks as your child adjusts to the new sleep space, but it will be manageable and short lived so long as they are prepared.
How to transition your child to toddler bed
If it's time to move your little one to a big bed, try these tips to bring greater ease and security to your child during the transition.
No pressure, please
Refrain from putting pressure on your child to make the move (e.g. “Don’t you want to be a big kid and sleep in a big kid bed?”). Moving to a bed should be a positive transition that they feel invested in and confident about, not forced or pressured to do. Also, keep in mind that many little kids don’t want to be “a big kid.” This is especially true for kiddos who are adjusting to being an older sibling!
Extra snuggles
Spend extra snuggle time and quality time with your child, where you give them your undivided attention. When they feel your full presence and connection, they feel more safe, secure, and confident.
Happy vibes
Encourage play time in their new bed during non-sleep times. We want them to make happy and positive associations with the sleep space. Animal dance parties, imaginary play, books or games are a few ideas you could try.
Get buy in
Involve your child as much as possible in making the bed feel cozy and safe. If possible, let them pick out new bedding or stuffed animals.
Keep consistent routines
Keep the bedtime routine consistent. The predictability will keep them feeling grounded and secure. The sleep routine will provide consistent cues leading up to bedtime as well.
Offer positive reinforcement
Use positive reinforcement to encourage even the smallest of victories. If they stay in bed at bedtime, let them know how proud you are of them. They will begin to feel more confident and capable of staying in bed all night. If sticker charts and reward systems work for your child, this could be a good time to use one.
Safety first
Toddler proof the room and any area of the home they could access. Safety first!
Calmly return to bed
Calmly, quietly, and quickly return them to their room and bed if they leave (unless you intend to allow co-sleeping in your bed or room). Remember that they are learning the new rules and it will take some practice. Your consistency will help them learn as quickly as they can.
Realistic expectations
Check your expectations. Some toddlers transition to a big kid bed with no problem whatsoever. Others turn into overnight escape artists. Generally speaking, kids younger than 3 have a harder time, as do those who are slower to adapt or more anxiously wired. But if you follow all of the tips above, chances are they will adjust within a couple of weeks.
Be mindful of your own stress
Keep your calm. Our kids look to us for cues on how to think and feel. If we’re anxious and frustrated, mirror neurons in their little brains will tell them to be anxious and frustrated too. So summon your positive energy and check your stress at the door. If you’re relaxed and confident they’ll sleep well in their new bed, they will be far more likely to do so.
When should I transition my child to a toddler bed?
Precisely when you move your kid to a bed will depend on several variables: their age, size, temperament, and logistics, just to name a few. While it may be appropriate or necessary for some 18 month olds to ditch the crib, many children will happily stay put until they are 4 years old.
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends moving a child out of the crib once the railing is below their chest because they’re likely able to climb out, which can lead to injury. So, if your toddler is climbing out of the crib in spite of the mattress being on the lowest setting, you’ll need to move them to a bed for safety reasons.
But some toddlers never attempt the climb! If you’re confident that your kid isn’t an escape artist (one of my was, one wasn’t), the transition generally goes better if you can wait until they are at least 3 years old.
Here’s why it's beneficial to wait. Before 3 to 4 years old, most kiddos just don’t have the executive function and impulse control required to stay put in a big kid bed. What this means is that if you’re making the move before 3 years of age, you can expect your toddler to have trouble staying in bed. The younger they are, the harder staying put will likely be. But again, temperament plays into this as well.
If your kiddo simply gets too big and it's physically uncomfortable for you to move them in and out of the crib, then go ahead with the move. They’ll adjust with your mindful approach to the transition…and your back will thank you. I reached this point with my first child when he was just shy of 4 years—otherwise he might still be in the crib at 12.
Finally, if your child is 3+ years old and is pleading for a bed, they’re probably ready to handle the transition without much struggle. Just follow the 10 tips above and you’ll be set.
When should I NOT transition my toddler to a big kid bed?
Sometimes there are logistical or practical reasons why we have to transition our child out of their crib. We simply cannot wait. But, here are three reasons to wait if you can:
Around other big transitions
If it’s within two months of a new sibling's arrival, or another very big milestone or change like moving to a new home or another change in family dynamics, it’s best to hold off. Either try to make the transition significantly before the milestone, or at least several months after.
Peer pressure
Everyone else is doing it, shouldn’t I? Just because the neighbor kid moved out of the crib at 18 months and your best friend’s kid made the transition at 2, doesn’t mean your kid should. If you can wait until your kid is 3 or even 4, the transition to a big kid bed will likely go far better.
To fix other sleep problems
My kid is a terrible sleeper, maybe they’ll sleep better in bed? It couldn’t get worse, right? Please don’t do it! Please…NO! In over a decade as a sleep coach, I have never (not even once!) seen a baby or child’s sleep improve by moving out of a crib. Problems remain and often get worse.
Take home on toddler beds
In some houses this transition is uneventful, in others it’s disastrous. How the transition unfolds depends on the child’s age, temperament, timing, and how mindfully parents approach the change.
Toddler Bed FAQs
1. What kind of bed should I get when my child grows out of the crib?
What type of bed you get it truly a matter of preference. Twin bed, double bed, toddler bed, or Montessori or floor bed — all of these work just fine as a first big kid bed. If your child’s crib is convertible, that offers the possibilty of your child not even registering there’s been a change in sleeping arrangements. My oldest LOVED his crib, so I got him a twin bed that looked very similar.
2. How long will it take for my toddler to adjust to their new bed?
Your child’s temperament combined with your approach (mindful or not!) will determined how long it takes them to adjust. If your toddler or preschooler is slower to adapt and very attached to the crib, it could take a few weeks or more depending on how you respond. Some kids, on the other hand, will adjust the first night. By following the tips above, you can be certain that your kid will adjust as quickly as they are able.
3. Help, my toddler keeps getting out of bed! How can I teach them to stay in their toddler bed?
If your kid turns into a jack-in-the-box, you probably want the issue resolved ASAP. The fastest way to get through it is to silently return them to their room and bed if they leave. If you must engage, keep it calm and boring. Any engagement, positive or negative, reinforces the behavior. Remember that they are learning and it will take some practice. Being patient and consistent will help them learn as quickly as they can.