A Tired Parent's Guide to Surviving the Evening Without Screens
The hours between 5:00-7:00pm can be pretty hairy in my house. It’s been a long day. Everyone is tired, overstimulated, hungry, and done with holding their $*&% together at school and at work.
This is why the lure of television and other screens is so strong. My kids can go from being absolute lunatics and whining and bickering at an 11 on a 1 to 10 scale…but turn on the TV, and suddenly there’s peace. And quiet. I can prepare dinner in relative harmony and maybe even catch a few quiet moments to myself.
But here’s the problem: If you use the electronic babysitter toward the end of the day, your kiddo may experience trouble falling asleep, poorer sleep quality overall, and a disrupted circadian rhythm. UGH. Of course the lowest hanging fruit for kid entertainment comes at a price!
So what is a tired parent (who just wants to make or order dinner or exercise or have a moment of space in the evening, without screaming in the background) to do? Why do we have to choose between a copacetic late afternoon/evening and quality sleep for our kids at night? NOT FAIR.
And no judgment at all if you lean heavily into screens to keep your kid occupied at the end of the day! I’m guilty of using the electronic babysitter in the evening more than any Sleep Coach would care to admit. I’m not sharing this information to shame anyone – I’m here to highlight a common problem (screens at the end of the day messing up your kid’s sleep quality) and offer some solid solutions.
So, what are some activities that keep the kids entertained and happy, WITHOUT SCREENS, and with little to no adult help needed?
Thanks to the incredible brain power of my friends and subscribers, we’ve compiled a pro list of ways to keep your kids entertained without TV, the iPad, videos, or video games.
Use this list anytime of day if you’re trying to reduce screen time. But we pulled it together with the witching hours in mind. Because parents seem to lean most heavily on screens at the end of the day, when we’re all tapped out. And unfortunately, it’s the worst time for screens because of the circadian rhythm disruption.
In no particular order, here are some solid, screen-free solutions:
1. Podcasts: Put on an attention-keeping podcast. If you want suggestions, here’s a list of fan favorites we crowdsourced:
2. Audiobooks: I still want to call them “books on tape,” but this isn’t the 80s, so I guess an audiobook would be easier to find. Here are a few apps/resources: Audible, Bookmobile, or audiobooks.com
3. Screen-free audio players. I love this option, but it’s not the cheapest of the suggestions. Here are a couple, vetted by lots of parents we know, but I imagine the list is growing quickly as these devices grow in popularity:
4. Dance parties. So long as your kiddo isn’t bothered by loud music, throwing on some jams that your kids love can be an absolute game-changer. This is the winner in my house, by far. If play music from Hamilton, Greatest Showman, or Encanto, they won’t ask me for a thing—happy as larks doing dance moves and sing alongs.
My kids also made a few playlists with all their favorites tunes, too. If it’s buying me screen-free time with them busy and happy and me cooking dinner in peace, I’ll happily listen to Imagine Dragons and Let it Go on repeat. Or my oldest has recently gotten into old school rap, which is pretty fun. Do ya’ll remember the song “Parents Just Don’t Understand?” And he’s obsessed with Whitney Houston signing the National Anthem. 🤣
If you don’t love their music choices, put in some earbuds and listen to your favorite podcast or music of your own. There is no rule that says parents have to listen to the same music as their kids.
5. Stickers. This works best for the younger crowd, but even my six year old will stay happy with stickers for a bit. But give him some bandaids and it’s game-on. With a box of bandaids, he’ll play vet on his stuffed animals for a good 45 minutes.
For the sake of the environment, and to make sure stickers don’t lose their lure, maybe throw this activity into the rotation once a week.
6. Kitchen band practice. This is another great one for the littler littles. Fill a drawer or cabinet at your kiddos level with pots, pans, and utensils and let them have at it. This one may not lead to a peaceful experience for the parents, but the noise of pots & pans band practice sure beats whining…at least if you ask me. ANYTHING beats whining.
7. Water play. Water tends to mesmerize kids, and even relax them. Maybe they get to wash dishes while you cook? That’s a win-win! Or give them measuring spoons and cups, and a pot full of water (with a towel underneath if they’re not at the sink, of course) so they can “cook” too. Sometimes, if I’m feeling a little more energetic, I’ll give me kids some expired rice, beans, condiments and/or spices for making a potion.
8. Bath time BEFORE dinner. I know, crazy idea, right? But why does bath have to be after dinner? IT DOESN’T. If they get messy eating dinner, just give them a wash cloth to wipe the avacaodo out of their hair.
Some kids LOVE bath and want more time to play in the tub. Which often leads to said kiddo having an epic meltdown when it’s time to transition from bath to the rest of the bedtime routine. Transitions are hard! And the fewer we have in the hours between dinner and bedtime, the better. Fewer transitions = fewer opportunities for meltdowns.
When my kids were younger, moving bath to before dinner made the flow of our evening so much smoother. Just this minor tweak in timing the evening events can make things flow more smoothly. You may find that your kiddo is more content after a solid play session in the bath, and you’re able to get more mileage out of some of these other suggestions while you’re getting dinner on the table.
9. Evening toy box. This is a special box of toys or activities that only comes out once per day. This one requires a little more energy upfront. But if you throw a few coveted items into a container and only let it come out for the period of time in the evening when you need them to be entertained without much help, the activities will be more exciting and will keep them busier and happier for longer. If they pull the special toy box out at other times during the day, the special toy box loses its impact.
10: Give them jobs. Involving kids in the dinner preparation process, whether that’s helping you stir or chop (disclaimer: I rarely had the patience for this when my kids were toddlers because they wanted to take over and then I’d get annoyed), clearing the table, setting the table, etc. Kids love to feel needed—an essential part of the family team! This builds self-confidence and autonomy too.
Honestly, I wish I did this suggestion more often. I guess I don’t because my kids are rocking out so hard to Whitney Houston that I don’t dare interrupt. Note to self: start involving kids in dinner prep at least a few times per week. They need more responsibility!
Creating a cozy space for your kid may get you more undisturbed time
For many of these options (especially podcasts, screen-free audio players, books on tape, stickers, and the toy box), you might get more milage out of them if you help your kiddo construct a fort or cozy spot for their independent play. Kids love building and enjoying specially crafted little spaces. So let them grab a cozy blanket, stuffed animals, pillows, a favorite toy, etc., build a fort or cozy spot, and you may find them content for longer than you imagined.
Ear buds / Head phones for the win!
Finally, I’d like to normalize listening to music while you’re kids are playing. You don’t have to hear every word they say at every moment. Try putting in ear buds and listening to some music that makes you happy. You’ll still hear your kids if they really need you, but it can help tune out the minor grumbles. When I do this, my nervous system stays so much more regulated and calm (which helps your kiddos stay more regulated and calm).
I know that the post-school-work-daycare-activities time can be rough and that we have to rely on TV or screens sometimes. We've got to pick our battles and cut ourselves some slack! But for the sake of your kiddo’s sleep, and yours, I hope you’ll try sprinkling in some of these alternatives to screens too. Good luck, evening warrior parent! May your hours before the kids are asleep be as harmonious as possible!
Want more tips to help your 2 to 5 year old sleep better? Check out this e-book for our Top 10 Tips for Stellar Sleep.